Supporting Loved Ones with Disordered Eating: How to Recognize and Offer Help
Have you ever noticed a friend, family member, or loved one who seems to be struggling with their relationship with food? You may be concerned but unsure how to bring it up without worsening the situation. It's more common than you might think—around 28.8 million people in the United States will experience an eating disorder at some point in their lives. Chances are, someone in your circle may be facing this challenge.
This post aims to shed light on disordered eating: what it looks like, how it affects individuals, and how you can support someone going through it. Disordered eating is serious, complex, and often challenging to recognize. You can't always tell by someone's appearance or weight that they may struggle with their relationship with food. It's important to understand that disordered eating is not just about food, body image, or willpower—it's much deeper than that.
What is Disordered Eating?
Disordered eating refers to eating patterns or behaviors around food that may not meet the criteria for a full-blown eating disorder but are still concerning and can negatively impact an individual's life. These behaviors often go hand-in-hand with distorted thinking, which can affect a person's relationships, emotions, and overall well-being.
While eating disorders and disordered eating look different in different individuals, there are some common signs to be aware of:
Early Warning Signs of Disordered Eating
1. Changes in Eating Habits- Look out for habits that begin to interfere with daily life and relationships. Some examples include:
Restricting or avoiding food
Making unusual food choices that are different from their usual preferences
Becoming preoccupied with food
Developing rigid patterns or rules about food (e.g., only eating certain foods or eating at specific times)
Feeling shame or guilt after eating
2. Changes in Physical Activity- Excessive exercise or an unhealthy focus on body image and weight can signal disordered eating:
Preoccupation with "health" or fitness to an extreme degree
An extreme focus on weight loss or body size
A compulsive need to exercise, even when it interferes with day-to-day life
3. Mental and Emotional Changes- Disordered eating doesn't just affect physical health—it can significantly impact emotional well-being. Common signs include:
Distorted body image or extreme dissatisfaction with one's appearance
Heightened anxiety, depression, or irritability, often tied to food or body concerns
4. Physical Changes: While some individuals may experience physical signs, it's important to note that not everyone with disordered eating will show visible changes. That said, common physical signs include:
Noticeable weight fluctuations
Changes in menstrual cycles (for women)
Gastrointestinal issues
Not everyone with disordered eating patterns will experience physical changes, do not wait until physical changes are present - early intervention can be extremely impactful.
How to Approach Someone Struggling with Disordered Eating
If you've noticed these signs and are concerned about someone you care about, knowing how to approach the conversation can be challenging. Here are some guidelines for starting the conversation in a supportive way:
1. Choose a Safe, Neutral Location
A calm, private setting where the person feels comfortable is ideal for sensitive discussions.
2. Be Non-Judgmental
Approach the conversation with empathy, understanding, and curiosity. Rather than focusing on what they should or shouldn't do, focus on their feelings and what they may be experiencing.
3. Affirm and Acknowledge Their Emotions
Let the person know you understand this is a difficult situation and affirm their feelings without assuming you know exactly what they're going through.
4. Ask How You Can Support
Instead of offering advice or solutions right away, ask how they would like you to support them. You might say, "How can I help you during this time?"
5. Use "I" Statements
Focus on expressing your own feelings and concerns. For example, say, "I'm worried about you," rather than, "You are worrying me, and you need to fix this."
Lastly, it's okay to acknowledge that you will not have all the answers and can not solve the problem. Your role is to be there for the person, let them know you care, and support them in finding supportive resources.
What's Next?
If you suspect that someone is struggling with disordered eating, professional treatment is essential. Recovery is best achieved with a team of healthcare providers, including:
Primary Care Physicians to address any physical health concerns.
Registered Dietitians to provide evidence-based nutritional support.
Mental Health Professionals to address the emotional and psychological aspects of eating disorders.
Disordered eating is complex, but with understanding and support, individuals can recover and regain a healthy relationship with food and their bodies. If you or someone you know is struggling, remember that you don't have to go through it alone—help is available, and taking the first step toward recovery is powerful.
If you have any questions or would like to speak with a professional about disordered eating, feel free to reach out to our team. We're here to help!
Additional Resources:
Eating disorder statistics: ANAD - National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and associated disorders. ANAD National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders. (2024, October 31).
Written by Kaitlyn Schlangen, MS, RD
Kaitlyn specializes in: Eating disorders, disordered eating patterns, gastrointestinal (GI) disorders and diseases. She is dedicated to supporting individuals across all spectrums of these challenges.